Monday, August 10, 2009

Love is NOT a Battlefield (Or a Game for that Matter)

We all know the infamous 80's anthem by Pat Benatar, crying out "We are young, heartache to heartache we stand! No promises, no is a battlefield." If that wasn't enough, Jordin Sparks has gotten into the game, declaring that "You better go and get your armor." There is a distinct problem with this though, love isn't supposed to be a battlefield, love is not a war. Love is supposed to enrich our lives, making us joyful for each day. Love should bring joy, not a tear. If love is hurting, I hate to say it, but you're doing something very wrong.

Everyday should not start with a fight, or turn into a fight, and if it does, it is time to figure out why. If there is love, there should be patience. If your partner is tired and stressed and snaps at you, it may not be in your best interest to start a fight over their attitude. Look deeper. How is work for them? Are there familial issues? Are they in pain? There can be any number of reasons for their behavior, but you can bet that the aim is not to inflict pain on you. If you listen to these songs, you may miss out on the bigger picture, the actual problem.

As an added bonus, I thought I may address another problem I have seen with younger girls and romance, that love is a game. I cannot stress how wrong this is. To use someone's heart or emotions for personal gain is immoral! How would you feel if someone manipulated you to get their way? If you are using your "wiles" to get your family, boyfriend, girlfriend or anyone to react a certain way, you are playing their love for you like it was a game.

You can watch any number of romantic comedies that have the heroine using her God-given assets to play men like puppets. Don't know what I am talking about? Go watch "Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day" and carefully watch Amy Adams character, Delysia. She flits from man to man using sex to get her apartment from one man and a part in a play from another man. She got so deep at climbing the metaphorical ladder, that she almost misses the forest for the trees. If someone becomes so obsessed with getting what they think they want, they may miss the chance to get what they need.

Deep down, people are "pack animals", we crave closeness to others like us, to manipulate those around you may lead to a deeper loneliness than any of us can comprehend. Be kind to those that you love, in all ways. Be understanding, because you never know when you will be having a bad day. The last thing you will want is to have to go and get YOUR armor.

1 comment:

  1. yeha, just found out yesterday that my man's father has an enlarged prostate. It is talking a toll on my honey. He is worried about his father a lot. He is so stressed out with his job, and responsibilities that he is making small things into really big things. It's been tough but I am doing my best to be more sensitive about what I say and how I say it. I talked to him honestly about something that came up today and what I said bothered him. I apologized immediatly and explained in a different why how I felt, making sure to be sensitive and we avoided a fight.