Sunday, August 2, 2009

Know What You Want and Admit When They Aren't It

It's okay to admit that someone you love isn't the person you should be with. In fact, it takes a strong person to realize that love, no matter how much of it there is, may not be enough. It happens sometimes, in fact most relationships work that way. If that weren't the case, then we would all marry our first loves, true? The fact is, people change every day. We get new goals, new dreams and that may pull us in a different directions, and that fine. The hard part is knowing what you want and when the person you are with won't be the right one once you get there.

To know what you want from life is key to knowing who is right for you. So great, you all have the same tastes in movies and music, but what does that mean in the grand scheme of things? Its wonderful to have similar interests with the person you with, it's a great jumping off point, but like anything else in life, it just isn't that simple. There has to be more that just those interests. Things like children are far more important to discuss, because the last thing you want is to marry a man that wants seven kids when you barely even thought that having one was a good idea. And if you decide that you DO want kids, how do you want to raise them, in what religion, do you want private schooling, home schooling? You have to be unafraid to talk about hot button topics, things that can get ugly sometimes. People get scared to talk politics, religion, sex, abortion, and the death penalty; but it is SO important to know that even if you have differing views that you can live with their ideals and they can life with yours. Make sure you are clear before you decide to commit and it gets harder to get out.

So what if they have strong feelings on a subject that you just can't abide by (and not just "OMG!! He ACTUALLY likes :insert band name here:!!!! I just can't DEAL with that!), something that really bothers you to your core, you need to be honest with yourself. My uncle gave me some of the best advice I ever received about love and dating: "If you can't see yourself marrying him, then don't waste each others time." I know it's harsh, but it has been my guiding star through adolescence and into adulthood.

Be honest with yourself, and be honest with him. Don't lie about what you believe in just to be with him, because in the end it won't do either of you any good. If you have any questions on YOUR relationship, send them to:

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