Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Truth In Advertising

...we interrupt this blog for an important message...

Let's talk about the importance of honesty. Too often I hear stories of women acting like someone they are not in order in impress a man that may not like the real them. First date honesty is something that a lot of us don't think about. To many women, the idea of putting their best foot forward involves a convoluted back story of a woman that they most certainly are not. I know that I am guilty of doing this. You want to be cooler than you are, hotter, more attractive. But where does that get us? 6 months later and the truth comes out. If you are a girl that likes her sweatpants better than a skirt, or someone that likes ice cream more than salad, then don't present an incorrect picture. Don't show up to your first date in a mini skirt and killer heels and then just order a smattering of food (oh, no desert for me please, I'm stuffed) if you are just going to go home and be a different girl.

We prance around being perfect little women, doting on the men and falling all over them. If that isn't who you are, then who benefits from the lie? You have presented a false image, someone that does not exist, someone that you say that you are but most certainly are not. Once again, I will refer to movies. We see caricatures of the women we are supposed to be, starting further back than June Cleaver and even making appearances in T.V. and movies alike today.

I saw "The Ugly Truth" this weekend, and I have to say you can lose the message in that movie. Mike, the male lead played by Gerard Butler, is a supposed misogynist "educating" women on how to draw men in. Abby, the female lead played by Katherine Heigl, the over-neuortic control freak forced to work with him. Long story short she meets a man and has no idea how to get him, so Mike offers to help her catch him. WIth a little makeover Mike makes Abby a whole new girl. He tells her that men want women to be two people in one "the librarian and the stripper". She tries and it works! Then the crisis...(and if you haven't seen this movie yet, you may want to read on the next paragraph cause there is some serious spoiler alerting happening here) does this man that Abby wanted so badly actually like her, or just the presentation he was given. So she asks, and doesn't like the answer she gets. He likes that she doesn't need to control everything in her life, and with a heavy sigh, she tells him the truth. Long story short, you can't live the lie forever.

The fact of the matter is if he falls for you when you are someone you aren't, he's going to be confused when you flip the switch, and how is that fair? As far as I know, we all get pretty annoyed when a man presents one version of himself, but turns out to be a completely different person. Same thing applies to the reverse.

The truth is, there has to be truth in advertising. No one wants something they didn't bargain on, in life, love or otherwise. We need to learn to respect honesty. As women, for some strange reason, we weave these webs of deceit, even if we don't think about it. Misdirection becomes part of who we are. So why not change the way we are seen. We can start by being honest with ourselves about who we are deep down. If you aren't the greatest housekeeper or cook or you aren't a snappy dresser, then own it, because that is who you are. Sure some things can change if we work on them. I am sure there are personality traits we don't like in ourselves, but putting the blinders on and pretending that those flaws aren't there doesn't mean that is the actual case. You have to love who you are before you can love who you're with. So practice a little truth in what you are advertising, otherwise whoever is watching just may change the channel.

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