Monday, July 27, 2009

How Disney Screwed Us Up

When I was a little girl, I watched a lot of Disney movies. I mean a lot of Disney movies. The music and the spectacle of it all was amazing. I would sit there with my teddy all curled up on the couch watching Cinderella fall madly in love or Ariel leave her family to be part of Eric's world. I would dream of the day when I would find my prince, what he would look like and how much he would love me. I would imagine that the whole world would stop when the two of us would meet (cue the smoke effects and the music), we would stare in each other's eyes and we would just know.

I would play make-believe with my Barbie Dolls. Barbie would be me and Ken would be my mystery man. I would dress Barbie up in her wedding finest and Ken would meet her down the aisle. Off to their happily ever after in a pink corvette. But what happens after happily ever after? What if there is NO happily ever after? What if Barbie just made the biggest mistake of her life and she doesn't even know it yet? See, the trouble is, we are so damned snowed over the mere thought of falling in love and having a family that we don't see the flaws.

What flaws you ask? Too many to name in just one blog, honestly, but let's start with just the basics. Did you know that Ariel was 16 when she married Prince Eric? 16! Don't believe me? Go watch the movie, she says it herself. Do you remember being 16? Everything was life or death, everything had to happen right away or you just may explode. How in the high Hell are you supposed to believe that anyone can make a sound decision at 16 years old? The United States government wouldn't even trust you enough to vote, smoke, drink or rent a car how could you expect to commit to a marriage? Now I know what SOME of you are thinking, your grandma, your grandpa, or your great-aunt (whom ever) all got married young, and it worked! I will tell you what, my grandmother was 16 when she got married and she loved my grandfather until the day he died, but in this day and age, that is the exception. Today, life is faster paced, we live in the now and are constantly connected. Love takes time.

What about the prince? Do you really expect that one day a man is going to show up on his white horse and save you from your eternal slumber? Really? Honestly? No, I didn't think so. Princes, no matter how shiny and ruggedly handsome, are human and thus flawed. In these movies that we fell in love with as children, women fell in love with these men on sight and rushed off to get married. Sounds like lust to me, not so much in the love department. How can it be love? How can you love someone if you don't even know their mothers name, let alone how they want to raise their children. That right there is the fundamental problem: we expect happiness to fall in our laps without having to put forth any effort. We live in a world of quick fix diet pills and shakes, exercise equipment that promises with just 30 minutes a day we can all look like Jessica Biel. Let's be honest girls, if it won't work for your waistline, it CERTAINLY won't work for you love life. I am just amazed at the number of us that are disappointed when life just doesn't work that way. Even Prince Charming is human, just like you and just like me. He is flawed. And the real core of the issue is that you have to decide if those flaws are something you can live with.

Prince Charming, as he exists in movies, get this ladies, does not exist. There I said it. He is not going to be a tall, muscular, rich, plucky hero who is going to save you from the dragon or put a glass slipper on your foot. More likely, he will be the closest male friend you have. Someone you have known forever and would never even consider kissing, let alone marry. Someone who you can never imagine being with, but once you are with them, you could never imagine being without. Maybe he is the guy you have known since kindergarden that has been stuck in the friend zone so long that neither of you knows how to get him out. Maybe he is the goofy dork that tells you how pretty you look everyday. The point is, ladies, it's time to remove the rose colored glasses. Let's talk about love, and what we are doing wrong. Let's be honest about how we are tripping ourselves up with our own convoluted logic. The only way to grow is to learn. Crack open those books, girls, time to get crackin'.

1 comment:

  1. I say we work on ourselves first then the REAL attraction will occur - here's to crackin the books!